It was one of those days where I wanted to drive endlessly to nowhere. Driving was something I enjoyed more than anything. It made me escape reality, allowing me to briefly experience what it felt to be myself. As I was driving down the road, I had this weird feeling that I might meet someone I should not be meeting. The light turned red and the car stopped. People waiting on the sidewalk were now crossing the road, and amongst the crowd, I saw her.
Instinctively, I called out her name and waved my hands. As I was about to offer her a ride I realized. It was as if time itself had stopped. She was staring at me with her pale face, surprised. She was just standing there staring blankly at my face. People walking by were glancing back and forth at her and I. For approximately two seconds, we just stared at each other. It felt like forever, and I wished the moment lasted longer. I have not seen her face in a while. The traffic light changed and the cars behind me were honking. The honking interrupted our moment and she continued walking across the road. I tried to call her name once again but I could not. The honking was now full of irritation, demanding me to go forward, but I was not able to press the accelerator.
I was worried about her, that she might not be able to endure the pain. I was worried that she might have difficulties going through recovery. I was wrong, I was so very wrong. It made me feel better, when I saw you today on the street. You looked fine, which was a huge relief for me, but what is this that I am feeling right now? I was dumb, of course you are fine! Why would you not be? I was stupid. I really, truly, was worried for you. After all this time, finally meeting you again, I felt relieved.
I went into a nearby Starbucks to have a drink. A hot coffee would help me clear my mind. As I walked in, there you were, standing next to a man. He was tall and handsome, a perfect man that you deserve. You looked happy with that man. Our eyes met again and this time you nodded at me. I smiled back and slowly backed away before the man even had a chance to see me. I got into my car and started driving. I am happy to know that you have moved on. I hope you are happy with him, I mean it. You deserve to be with a better man. Today was one of those days where I wanted to drive endlessly to nowhere.